About M.E.

eugenia
29 july 1990
BOWEN GIRL GUIDES

Archieves

January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 February 2008 August 2008

Prev. Posts

life still goes on.never stop hoping.perservere.we... SYF . NDPi wonder whats wrong with the sec2s lah.a... MILLION LOTUS FOLDING SESSIONSVolunteer to fold as... i dun wanna go to school.i dun wanna do holiday as... numb stupid 3 3 3 3 3 lihui again. happy bday stupid woman. im so lazy to blog. but just to give it a little l...

Friends

AMANDA xx
CAILING xx
DILYS xx
EDWINA xx
EUGENIA LAU xx
ELLIS xx
GWEN xx
HANIZA xx
HASEENAH xx
JACLYN xx
JIAXING xx
JOANNA xx
JOY xx
LIHUI xx
MIAONING xx
MICHELLE xx
MS CHUA xx
PRUNELLA xx
SABRINA xx
SHEENA xx
SHIWEI xx
SHUXIAN xx
SUXIN xx
WANRUxx
YEAPJUN xx
YIHUI xx
YOLANDA xx
YVONNE xx
DA JIE xx
DI ZANG xx
DHARMA xx
BODHI HUT xx

Wish list

thinking in process

Tagboard

Credits

Brush: Paper c u t s
Image: Digik Design
Layout: Puppet2409

Monday, March 20, 2006 ++

im dead
im dead
im so so so dead.
everything is popping up into me.
moodswings are everywhere.
jus becos whatever thing that pops into have different mood.

err.....
so i shall start with my schoolwork.
actually not much lah.
just that i dun wan whoever that is worry abt my grades to be worry.
i guess i would be able to plan my time.
i really HAVE to plan my time alr.
i cannot afford to wonder off and do other things anymore.
sad life i know.
quite sad. haha.
yes yes study comes first.
i know. i know.
but if i really have this ''passion'' of other commitments.
i have to do it too.
whether its for my own interest or because of my responsibility.
i have to do it.

my mum has been seriously nagging me abt my studies.
my time. (the amt i rest & im always home late)
she kept saying my face yellow yellow. haha.
my personal commitments.
but i tell u.
my mummy is the greatest person!
she just wash strawberries and grapes for me.
cos she said i must eat more fruits.
so rather than keep eating apple.
she bought something more appetizing.
so nice right? haha.
and she always make sure i drink her soup every dinner.
my mum can cook the best soup ever.
u prefer light flavour or heavy flavour,
she also can cook.
try her vegeterian shark fin soup.
i can tell u.
its the B.E.S.T! =D
got pple wanna buy her for recipe ok.
dun play play. hahahha.

today. i hold back my tears many many times.
i told someone not to cry.
and braved it through.
cos thats the only thing we can do.
sometimes as i think abt it.
i know im scared.
i really am.
but i cannot afford to stay at one corner to hide.
because by doing so, i actually kick the rest to hell
and i'll be living in a ''peaceful'' place where no one can disturb.
i dun call it a heaven.
because for somebody who does such irresponsible act.
that person does not deserved to be in heaven.
ok whatever i am saying. haha.
im scared.
im scared of the consequences.
im scared of letting pple down.
im scared of failure.
im scared of parents.
im scared that some girls might not be able to take it.
im scared of ms quek and ms chua.
i really wished to be in somewhere without them.
im afraid of seeing them.
im afraid of hearing from them.
im afraid of seeing sms-es from them.
im afraid to receive calls from them.
finally im im saying how frightened i am.
i keep reminding myself to stay strong. stay strong.
but as i go along.
things are getting more and more out of hand.
i can no longer say anything or do anything.
i feel weaker and weaker.
everything seems to be in a mess.
and now im afraid.....
that this little needle might break anytime.

at other side of my life,
im scared to request to go somewhere.
im scared to request to do something.
im scared to make her sad and worry.
im trying as much as i can to obey.
and i hope she understands.
she's nice. yes she is.
perhaps she's just over protective.
its just because of love.
sometimes as she talks to me abt this very sensitive topic,
i really not want her to compare so much of it.
perhaps she thinks its alright.
but it isn't. i wanna correct u.
i hope u listen. but u doesn't seems to.
it hurts.
i dun wan u to create such a sin unknowingly,
just becos of this little ignorant part of you.
it might look as little as nth.
but the fact is, its a big thing. the worst thing u can compare and critisised abt.
u're not wrong. maybe its just the way u feel as u compare.
but pls. stop.
listen to what others has got to say.
dun reply things like ''ya ya. u're good at talking''
telling u it, does not mean its protective against that organisation.
but the truth is it.
u have to understand it after so many years of following.
if not there's really no point staying so long for.
for me, i've seen what is it.
i know what is it.
i've learn lots from it.
im feeling comfortable with it.
everything and anything she does is all out of her compassion.
u really have to understand and not just see its outer.

frankly. i really wanna shou wu jie.
i wanna go taiwan chao sheng.
i'll make it a wish.
a wish that can come true anytime soon........ 8:39 PM

Site Information ++

Best viewed: Mozilla Firefox. COmpatible with: Netscape, IE5+, Firefox.
No Javascript.